Toddlers should be recruited for collegiate-level debate teams. It’s not that they are excellent at outlining their arguments, following up with strong and compelling examples and bringing it home with a bang-up conclusion (zing!). No, they are winning based on a strategy of completely confusing the opponent. One could be tempted to chalk this up as cheating and grounds for disqualification, but this could start yet another debate. I’d like to share the best strategy for taking back parental power from these ruthless and adorable competitors. Becoming a quitter.
Argumentative and unsubstantiated conversations are a new thing with my toddler. It began the other night and has taken off with breakneck speed. Conquering debate and defining herself as an adrenaline junkie in one fell swoop. She was getting ready for bed and was extremely concerned that she couldn’t find her new pink purse. I looked over and saw the purse approximately two feet from where we were standing. In fact, I think she actually looked directly at it before asking me where it was. I pointed to it and explained, “It’s right over there”, thinking she’d be honoring me shortly thereafter with the mother-of-the-year award. With a slightly raised voice, she sternly explained that she didn’t want that one, she wanted the pink one. I stared again at the patent pink purse, the one I’d just pointed out. The only purse she owns. I made an effort to point and over enunciate this time, “It’s right there”, giving her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she truly didn’t hear me. Her response, “No, that’s PURPLE!”. For those of you getting concerned that she may be color blind, I can assure you, she knows her colors very well and the only thing you should be concerned about is how I’m ever going to be able to manage this much sass. We went back and forth a few times, arguing (?) about the color of the purse.
This is where the confusion is at its peak. The color of the purse is a fact, yet it’s also the opening argument. This all boils down to one conclusion, and no, it’s not that the purse is pink. We’re past that now. It means that I’m never…going…to win. It’s a set-up. To that end, the best strategy is to walk away. Unless of course you’re wanting to conquer the Guinness record for longest debate with a toddler.
The “argument” with my daughter ended when I threw up my hands with a simple “fine”. I walked away and went into the other room to collect my thoughts. In the meantime, my daughter had done the same and I was joined shortly by a very happy, pink purse wearing toddler.
We’re raised with a message to not be quitters. That quitting is for losers. Well, then I’m a big loser. Please remember that the opposite of losing isn’t always winning. In this case, the opposite of losing is a mind numbing war of words to nowhere. Save yourself the war of words, hold onto your sanity and store up your energy for the more agreeable childhood moments. Those are the winners.
5 Essentials to Rediscovering Your Joy After Loss
Omg that damn punk purse!! Lol
She just didn’t want to go to bed. ????????
I love that each of you owns the same number of purses…1. And you both feel slightly different about your purse ????