What is my why?
I’ve asked myself this a lot over these past several years.
Why do I blog even when it feels like no one is listening?
Why do I get up to workout?
Why do I make hard choices about what to eat?
Why do I care what people think?
Why am I choosing to be open now, when seven years ago I smiled and stayed sad inside?
Our decisions in life are a bunch of whys strung together, based on something that happened to us, or based on a choice we made.
Sometimes our whys aren’t quite strong enough yet to provoke change. And that’s okay.
But when we’re ready to listen, or the why that was once a tiny whisper gets a little bit louder, well, it can be life changing.
I blog because it helps me work through my emotions. There is a mom out there, holding her baby for the last time, and I don’t want her to feel alone.
I get up to workout because feeling stronger on the outside gives me strength in all other areas of my life.
I make hard choices about food because it helps me better handle life’s emotional challenges AND it makes the occasional donut(s) that much sweeter.
I care what people think because I’m a self taught people pleaser and it’s a work in progress to try and figure out who I want to be, rather than who I think I should be for other people.
I’m choosing to be open because I think (fortunately) human condition tries to keep us from staying in prolonged suffering. Over time my relationship with grief has changed. As a friend recently described, the hole gets deeper over time, more buried. And that can leave space for other emotions…for more whys.
Leave a Reply