Just thinking about your spouse going back to school can have you racing to the wine fridge. I don’t blame you. That’s what I did. Late night homework assignments. Writing papers on the weekends. Studying for tests. Paying for books and tuition. Even just one of these statements can stir-up thoughts of panic for weeks to come.
When we decided that my husband was going to go back to school, our oldest son had recently passed away, and I was pregnant with our second child. 
Yup, we were signing up for lab classes and late night feedings. Presentations and pureed baby food. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but we were in it together. That’s the only way we knew we’d get through it. That was almost four years ago. We’re not over the finish line yet, but it’s in sight and it feels amazing already. We’ve been able to enjoy lots of successes along with way. So let’s take a step back and talk about how we started down this scholastic path. It started with a very important conversation.
Talking with your spouse about the purpose for going back to school is key. If you can answer the following questions and both support the mission, you’re well on your way to making this choice a successful reality:
Why is your spouse going back to school?
For my husband, it was a change in profession, which required its own set of credentials. Our son had just passed away and it had us thinking about how we wanted to live the rest of our lives. My husband was in a job he didn’t love (putting it mildly) and had always regretted not finishing his degree. His heart led him to wanting to become a teacher. It was apparent that this change in career path wasn’t really a want anymore, but a need. We truly felt we didn’t have anything to lose.
What will this give your spouse?
Going back to school in your thirties (almost forties) can seem exhausting. But you know what sounds more exhausting? Working in a job that makes you unhappy for another twenty-five to thirty years until retirement. Yikes! And let’s be honest, when your spouse is happy in work, it makes lots of things happier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s called work for a reason. We’re not going to feel like we won the lotto everyday, but we shouldn’t feel like we’re losing everyday either.
How will this benefit the family?
When I finished college in my early twenties I knew quite a few students who went on to get their Master’s Degree, or some sort of continuing education. They all had different reasons for this: the job market wasn’t that great for graduates, they were working towards a specialty, or they didn’t have anything else lined up, so why not. It’s a little different these days. My husband and I have two little ones at home and with other items on our budget list, “just because” doesn’t cut it. My husband becoming a teacher will provide our family with some more flexibility and a more steady income.
Yes, I know that answering these questions doesn’t help pay the bills or the student loans (I’ll get into all of that later), but it makes tackling these troublesome realities easier. When a spouse goes back to school, it’s not only their goal, but the family’s goal. I can’t guarantee that you won’t be making trips to the wine fridge for the next several years, but they’ll be less panic induced and more about finding the reasons to celebrate…together.
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I love that you wrote about this I’ve been thinking about going back to school for some time now and I think the time has finally come! I know it will be hard but in the end it will be so worth it! Congrats to your hubby, he’s very lucky to have such a supportive wife.
Elza! I’m sure your family would support you all the way! If you’re like my husband, he always said it was his biggest regret. It just hurt to see him regretting something…especially if we could do something about it. Consider me your cheerleader! So proud of the mommy and friend that you are. And thank you so much for being my cheerleader and reading my blog. Wishing you nothing but the best!