Parenting Lessons I Learned at the Playground

We don’t get out much.  My husband is a full-time student and part-time substitute teacher.  He’s also being Super Dad, dropping off the kids and picking them up at daycare, making dinner every night and doing the vast majority of the laundry.  I’m working full-time outside of the home and on weekends, when I’m not making out with my kids’ faces or trying to chug a cup of coffee before I catch my youngest son chewing on Play-doh, I’m a part-time proofreader for my handsome student.  All of these things are contributing factors as to why our kids are going to need Vitamin D supplements by the time they’re four-years-old.  I’m pretty sure I heard my daughter ask “What’s that?”, as she pointed to the sun the other day.  The other factor is that on a scale of one to ten, my husband and I are a solid eight for being total homebodies.  So for us, getting out of the house takes more of a conscious effort.

In an effort to get us out of the house and to eliminate the possibility of using the word ‘pasty’ to describe my daughter’s skin tone, we took our kids to the park this past weekend.  Lots of green open space, several jungle gyms, and a tree we planted in Chase’s (our oldest son) honor.  We arrived and got settled in rather quickly, staking our claim under our tree.  Our youngest, Matthew, is not a talker yet and pointing and grunting can be rather cryptic, so we asked our daughter, Bree, if she wanted to hit up the swings or the slides.  Quick answer, “No”.  Okay then.  Still getting adjusted to her new surroundings – I can respect that.  My husband grabbed the bouncy ball we’d brought and started to toss it around with her. After a while we revisited the swing idea and Bree was on board…or so she said.  We grabbed both kids and headed towards the large splinter factory.  As soon as my husband and I raised our arms to place the kids in the swings, the floodgates opened.  Both kids started ugly crying.  It was so loud.  As parents we’re faced with the struggle of letting them cry (public scrutiny) or doing the thing that will just make it stop.  We took the kids out of the swings and introduced them to some other options – steps, slides and plastic dinosaurs, fit for nothing else but sitting.  Eventually Matthew warmed up to the swings and Bree fell in love with the slides.  It was a happy parenting moment when our daughter finally went down the slide all on her own.  You would have thought we’d just received her college acceptance letter with all of our high fives and over-the-top praise.

Our love of the park continued to gain momentum.  My daughter started to play with other kids and asking telling anyone who was in earshot, “Watch me!”, as she went down the slide for the 1,492nd time.  As I stood at the perimeter of this bark ridden petri dish I was fascinated by what was going on.  A public gathering of adults, watching playtime…and judging.  No?  Just me?  Oh, I know I must have been judged for the crying incident on the swings and the “every kid should get an award” vibe when my daughter went down the slide.  For the next fifteen minutes or so, I navigated playtime, trying to be breezy.  Don’t hover too much.  Tone down my “good jobs”.  Encourage social interaction, but not with the really dirty kid, or the one jumping off the second story plastic balcony.  I may have looked like I was just standing around, but my mind was on its fourth lap around the track.  All-in-all, it was a great time and we’re all looking forward to going back as soon as possible, but here are a few things I’ll be keeping in mind for the next time:

• Bring a ball in case the jungle gym is initially overwhelming (for you or your children).
• Don’t worry about the kid who’s crying, yours will most likely start in the next five minutes.
• Acknowledging other children’s’ accomplishments is always nice and wanting validation from others never goes away.
• Try not to over think things.  Maybe the really dirty kid is the one having the most fun.
• Do what makes you feel comfortable.  Maybe the really dirty kid is always really dirty.
• Have fun, soak up the Vitamin D and know that we’re all just trying our best!