How to Become a More Spiritual Person After 40

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Isn’t there a general rule that when you’re in large social gatherings you should avoid several topics?  Like politics and religion.  Well that doesn’t really apply here.  Nope.  Because it’s just you and me.  Based on my latest blog stats, I think it’s pretty safe to say that the chances of millions of internet perusers eavesdropping is pretty slim.  I want to share with you how to become a more spiritual person after 40.

The fact that I was over 40 years old when I really started to talk more about faith isn’t a magic number or anything.  It just happened to be the age range when I first started to really question Faith and what it means to me.

What is Faith?

Excellent Question!  Being the practical person that I am (maybe one of the many reasons I haven’t explored this sooner), let’s ask my good friend Merriam-Webster.  Fidelity to one’s promise. Sincerity of intentions. Belief and trust in and loyalty to God. Belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion. Firm belief in something for which there is no proof.  Complete trust.

Oh geez.  Just writing these definitions down has me questioning if I actually do have this thing called ‘Faith’.  It seems so unwavering and finite.  

Mine doesn’t look like that. 

Have you ever had to do a trust fall before?  I learned about trust falls in my fourth grade outdoor ed camp.  You stand with your back to someone and when you’re ready, you lean back.  You’re trusting the person standing behind you will catch you before your bum hits the dirt.

This is Faith.  Being in one giant trust fall. 

To be honest, in the grand scheme of life, I really DO feel like I’m going to be caught.  For goodness sakes, I want to be caught.  But sometimes I feel like it just might happen a little too late for my comfort.  Like I might take a small step back in hesitation, or think briefly “crap, this is gonna hurt.”

But this doesn’t mean I don’t have any sort of Faith. 

I showed up, right?  

I turned around. 

I even leaned back.  

I’m just a little nervous of the unknown.

Unless you’re a thrill seeker I think this is a pretty natural reaction.

Faith Can Grow

For the longest time I’ve been angry.  Not visibly.  Well, at least I don’t think so.  Let’s not ask around, okay. 

Maybe angry is kind of aggressive.  Undeniably confused at the very least.

If there is a greater good or God does exist, then why have I had to live with the pain of losing my son?

You want to know the answer I’ve come up with so far…Faith.

In the years after Chase passed away, even the days afterwards, I would find comfort in other peoples’ religious convictions.  Maybe the delivery wasn’t always received well (“he’s in a better place”…yuck), but I loved that other people truly felt that my son had his wings and had reached a magical place.  I mean, in his mom’s arms was pretty magical if I do say so myself, but you know what I mean.  

Those are the people I would want to pair up with for a trust fall.

And over time, I’ve found that I’m not just gravitating towards one person with Faith.  Trust falls with more than one person to catch you?  Definitely better odds, right?

And if Faith is a trust fall, I think you can gain more confidence over time.  

Initially you step out of line and let the next camper go ahead of you.  Eventually you decide it’s your turn.  The first time you go to fall you take a giant step back and announce you can’t do it.  Then you try again with only a small shuffle back. Then you do it again, eyes squinched and butt clenched.  Then you start to loosen up a little bit.  

You get my drift.

Remain Open to Possibility

Do you have Faith?  I’ve looked at this question as having a yes or no answer for the longest time.  If it’s a yes or no answer then it somehow has to check all the boxes.  There are no ‘maybes’.  If there are, then it’s a ‘no’.  But that’s not the case.

Sorry Merriam-Webster, but I still have questions.  And that is okay.  I’ve realized that having questions has allowed me to let Faith in.  To get to know it and what it means to me.  And that is what I have complete trust in.  

I’m part of a blogging mastermind group and our mentor recently said that blogging is not just our business, it is our calling.  Wait what?  I just tell people that I like to write (head looking down, not really owning it).  You mean it could be something more than that?  That my decisions are not solely my decisions, but something that I’m meant to do?

Mic drop.

I still don’t really know why Chase gained his wings so early (yes, I do believe he has them and they’re glorious), but I’m taking one giant trust fall in hopes that it’ll make sense to me someday.

If you’re interested in exploring your own Faith, here are some practical (yes, that’s me) steps that I’ve taken to discover my own:

Personal Development (ask questions, find comfortable conversations, read)

Online Church (listen from the comfort of your own home; church crowds have always seemed overwhelming)

Lean In (if something is interesting to you, explore it; it might not just be your business, but your calling)

Practice Gratitude (I started a journal this year and if nothing else, it just feels good to embrace the things that you are thankful for)

P.s. I would totally catch you in a trust fall.