There are never enough hours in the day.
Is it 5pm already?
I already don’t know how I’ll get it all done.
Ah, yes, the all too familiar. I’ll give it to you, some days these statements ring true. Back to back meetings at work, followed by your child’s play, followed by dinner, bath time and back online to catch-up on work emails.
And some days, it’s just an excuse to avoid spending time with ourselves. Yeah, I said it. How many people will really notice that you answered a few less work emails at 8pm? Besides you.
Yes, reevaluating your days is hard. But consider finding time for your self care another job. It’s not always going to be easy, but it is so worth it. More rewarding than some of the other things you’re probably making time for (mic drop?):
- Say “No” – I feel like this can be quite the sticking point, especially for us people pleasers. “Of course I can help.” “If no one else can do it, I’ll step in.” These are things we say without even thinking about it. I would equate it to when guys say “I’ll call you” after a so-so date. They’re not going to, but it’s nice to end on a high note and not come off looking like a jerk. You’re not a jerk for saying “no”. Let me repeat, primarily for my own benefit, you’re not a jerk for saying “no”. Sorry PTA, maybe next year.
- Wake up earlier – Don’t stop reading! I’ll try to refrain from sounding like I invented this slightly annoying and pie-in-the-sky recommendation, but it really has changed my day. If you haven’t already read The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod, you need to. In fact, in his book he recommends passing it along to a friend. I’ll mail you my copy if that’s what it takes. This is how I feel about this. I’m currently sitting here, at 5am, under the light of my small desk lamp, with a cup of coffee (with whip cream), and spending time with you. This is my happy place. Kids and husband are still sleeping, dogs are not yapping (yet), and a cozy blanket is in my lap. Sounds nice, right? It’s not easy when the alarm goes off, but I’ve been doing it for so many months now, that if I don’t get this time for myself, it actually bums me out. Don’t get me wrong, some mornings I just need more sleep. But how many times do we say we just needed more sleep and it’s just a way to justify our choice to sleep in rather than workout, or read or just be silent with yourself. Reminder, this early time is for self care.
- Speak up – No one said you have to be able to do it all and keep quiet when you’re struggling
- Review your routine – You’re used to it because you’ve been doing it for so long, but review everything on your daily to-do list and see if you can make some changes. Yes, the obvious answer is “I can’t”. You’re saying that because it’s what you’ve been used to doing for months, years, if not decades before now. It’s the way it is so you take it as full truth. This is not fact, it’s a way of thinking. Start just by looking at the calendar – the minutes in the day.
- Tell yourself that you’re worth it – By choosing what others need all the time, and leaving no time for yourself, your actions are saying that you don’t think you’re worth it. Notice I didn’t say you know you’re worth it. I think you do know you deserve it. But it’s hard work. It’s hard work to get up when the alarm sings. It’s hard work to have to feel confrontational by saying “no”. It’s hard work to ask for help (big time). Looking at your routine is scary because you don’t want to think that you have some time in your day that’s not spent doing necessary things.
You are worth it.
You are not mean.
You are doing a great job.
You are strong.
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