There is nothing like a good belly laugh. It doesn’t even have to be your own. Hearing someone in a genuine state of vocal happiness can be contagious. How many times have you caught yourself smiling and feeling like you may have missed the funniest thing ever said, just by watching someone else laugh? Laughter is a universal language. We all want a certain amount of it in our lives. We watch sitcoms in the hopes of obtaining it, we attend shows outlined to deliver it, and we take pictures of it to revisit later. Laughter can also be complicated. Have you ever laughed, so you wouldn’t cry? Maybe you didn’t want to talk about it, so instead, you laughed? How many times has a nervous laugh gotten you through an awkward date, a tough job interview or an important presentation? In its purest form, laughter is joy. Other times, it can be pretty complex.
I often say that I’ve found a bigger laugh since my son passed away. I still stand by that statement.
With a renewed sense of “life is short”, I spend more time doing things that I like. A product of this is laughter.
I’m choosing to remain open in my life, which makes me available for laughter, wherever it may find me.
When someone says something unknowingly insensitive about child loss, I catch myself in nervous laughter. It’s the fastest way to get out of the conversation. Plus, I’m non-confrontational, to a fault.
When I don’t have the energy to confront my sadness, or worry, I’ll make jokes in the hopes of making others laugh. Is an ‘Expert Deflectionist’ a thing? It should be. I’m certified.
I think this is actually when laughter has the potential to turn to sadness. You know that saying “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt”? Well, it’s true. Even if you’re the only one playing and the hurt is self-inflicted.
It’s the worst feeling, am I right? You were just laughing. How could you possibly feel sad now?
This is when the internal dialogue kicks in and you pretty much put yourself in timeout. You’re disappointed in yourself. You just covered up your true feelings to make other people feel better. That stinks. How many of you replay the moment in your head, only this time ugly crying just to see how many people you can make feel uncomfortable? No? Just me? (insert nervous laugh).
Using laughter as a coping mechanism can be effective towards reaching some goals, but it can be hurtful for others. Like staying true to ourselves. Just how laughter is pure, so is sadness.
No one wants to be sad all of the time. It’s draining. So we need laughter. It really can be the best medicine. But it’s a good idea to reflect on how it really makes you feel. I’m not saying you should be the Debbie Downer all of the time, but the opposite of this isn’t performing like you’re trying out for The Tonight Show either. Showing indifference might be a skill worth refining. Find what makes you comfortable and make way for the true laughter.
5 Essentials to Rediscovering Your Joy After Loss
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